Household Harmony
A Guide for Babies, Toddlers, Kids & Dogs
Learning how to manage mobile babies, toddlers, kids and dogs is crucial. Arguably two of most important beings in your life - your kids and your dogs. Both innocent and acting off of instinct and their own wants and impulses. It is our responsibility as adults, parents and caretakers to ensure we are keeping our dogs and children safe, comfortable and happy. From thefamilydog.com, 77% of dog bites towards children come from the trusted family dog. Not a dangerous stray or similar. These are from dogs in our homes, living with us.
Why did these 77% of dogs turn to biting? They have lost their tolerance over time and their signals have either been misinterpreted, overlooked or both. They are not bad dogs. They are simply misunderstood. The great thing about managing kids and dogs is its not hard! If fact, it's quite easy once you know what to look for!
Why did these 77% of dogs turn to biting? They have lost their tolerance over time and their signals have either been misinterpreted, overlooked or both. They are not bad dogs. They are simply misunderstood. The great thing about managing kids and dogs is its not hard! If fact, it's quite easy once you know what to look for!
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Jump to Chapter:
Baby 0-12 months Toddler 1-4 years Teach your Children Kids 5+ Click to view these pages as well: SPEAK DOG! How Dogs Learn Trust Point System Dog Bite Prevention Quick Sheet Baby, Toddler & Dog Bonding |
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If your dog has resource guarding, serious prey drive or if, at any point, your dogs behavior becomes unmanageable, out of control or concerning, call a professional dog trainer, dog behaviorist, vet behaviorist or your veterinarian immediately.
Mobile Babies & Dogs
- age 0-12 months -
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There are multiple stages dogs go through when a baby enters into their life and their home. At first it is a squealing, crying, odd smelling little creature that everyone seems to be fussing around. All of the sudden this little one becomes the center of the household being carried around, placed into devices that move and waking everyone up at night. From the dogs point of view, as long as they don't have a serious prey drive and are comfortable being around this little squeaky creature, the real disruption at this stage is in their sleep, play, walk routines. |
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There is a MASSIVE transition from a non-mobile baby to a mobile baby. Dog's do not anticipate this or understand baby milestones. Suddenly this little baby, while making noises, begins to invade the dogs space and move.. a lot! And very differently than other humans.. they stumble, drop things, shaking rattles, fall over etc. which can be scary and irritating to the dog. If allowed, the newly mobile baby will be naturally curious of the dog. This will lead to the baby wanting to go over to the dog when they are resting, roll into the dog, step on the dog, crawl on the dog. They may grab the dogs face, paws, hair or tail... hard. The baby may grab the dogs toys or bones or food bowl while the dog is eating... This could happen upwards of 20-30 times A DAY. It does not take long for the dog to associate the baby with unpleasantness learning through multiple, small negative interactions throughout the days, weeks and months of living together.
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The good news is there is a lot YOU can do to prevent this from ever happening.
You can absolutely set up your household so that your precious baby and dog grow up in harmony together. You do not want your dog to dread interaction with your child. You want them to love it! From the dogs point of view, when a baby continuously disrupts the dog, it will lead to loss of trust between them. This will then lead to the dog most likely wanting space from the baby. Some dogs are very obvious when they want space. Refer to the SPEAK DOG handout to ensure you are accurately interpreting your dogs body language cues. Dogs may appear to "be fine" when the baby invades the dogs space. Usually this is not the case unless, in the moment, the dog is overtly wiggly and loose body language. The dog may get up and leave the room or space, they may turn their head away or less obvious cues like a lip lick, yawn or stiffened eyes/mouth. When a dog feels as if their initial "I Want Space" cues aren't working, they may escalate to "Bite Warning" cues which is growing, teeth showing and worse, biting. Your job is to ensure your dog never feels the need to escalate. |
Interaction Rules - Mobile Baby & Dog
Management
Personal Space
- Never leave baby and dog unattended together or when you are not 100% present.
- Place baby gates into the nursery and play room areas so you can restrict dog access when need be.
- It is a good idea to also have baby gates or play pen in main living areas where your baby is often on the floor and/or playing to separate when need be.
- Your dog should always have access to a chill, no baby zone so they have the option to remove themselves from the baby space.
- It is not mean to separate your child and dog. We all need personal space and breaks from overstimulating things and situations.
Personal Space
- Do not allow baby to go into dogs crate or bed when the dog is in it.
- Do not allow baby to crawl or step on the dog.
- Do not allow baby to invade the dogs space when they are eating, have something in their possession, resting, sleeping, in an inclosed space like under a table, on the couch or covered by more then two sides (see Box Method here).
- Do not allow your baby to follow, chase or corner your dog.
- Teach your baby from a young age what it looks like what a dog wants space and to respect that.
- Do not teach your baby to "give kisses or hugs" to the dog. Instead, have them "Blow a kiss!" or "wave" or gently pet the dogs back.
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Boundaries
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- When baby is first learning to roll and crawl, always have a leg or human body in between dog and baby if they are on the same level surface. Your dog will want to lay next to you if you are on the ground with the baby. They don't fully understand that also means next to a grabby, rolling baby. Having spacial boundaries implemented by the caregiver is necessary.
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You'll notice there are a lot of bullet points that start with do not... that is completely NORMAL. It is 100% necessary to manage your kids and dogs. It can be overwhelming seeing just how much management you need to do as a caregiver to young babies and dogs. I get it! I have three dogs and three children under 5. I can promise that this is all worth it to ensure your babies, both human and canine feel comfortable and safe for life.
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Baby Gate Prep
Separating your dog from your child does not mean isolating them or icing them out from the family. You can and should build a positive association with you being on one side of a baby gate and your dog being on the other. Do not overly talk or fuss during any training or real life exercise. Your energy should be calm, encouraging, stable and neutral at all times.
Start with gate open:
1. Have some treats or your dogs kibble covertly in your pocket or a treat pouch.
2. When the household and your dog is calm, bring your dog over to the doorway where the baby gate is.
3. Right before you go to walk through the open baby gate, drop a few treats outside of the gate then walk through. Your dog should have their nose to the ground busy looking for the treats while you are on the otherwise of the open gate.
4. After they are done, they can walk through to you or you can even toss more treats in their space to keep them on the other side.
Start with gate open:
1. Have some treats or your dogs kibble covertly in your pocket or a treat pouch.
2. When the household and your dog is calm, bring your dog over to the doorway where the baby gate is.
3. Right before you go to walk through the open baby gate, drop a few treats outside of the gate then walk through. Your dog should have their nose to the ground busy looking for the treats while you are on the otherwise of the open gate.
4. After they are done, they can walk through to you or you can even toss more treats in their space to keep them on the other side.
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5. Repeat but this time you can toss treats away from the open baby gate space.
6. Repeat 10-20 times. Moving on to gate closed: 1. Approach the now closed baby gate with your dog. 2. Toss some treats on the ground and away outside of the baby gate. 3. Open the gate, then close it without walking through. 4. Repeat 3-5 times. 5. Toss some treats on the ground and away from the baby gate and walk through, closing the gate behind you. |
Happy dogs learned to wait behind a baby gate entrance to the nursery.
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6. Casually go deeper into the room and sit down or look busy for 1-3 minutes. Every so often tossing treats on the other side of the gate to your dog.
7. Repeat as you slowly increase the time increments, energy around the household and baby into the exercise.
8. You may also give your dog a chewy, bone or lasting treat on the other side of the baby gate while you are inside for practice.
7. Repeat as you slowly increase the time increments, energy around the household and baby into the exercise.
8. You may also give your dog a chewy, bone or lasting treat on the other side of the baby gate while you are inside for practice.
*If your dog has resource guarding, serious prey drive or if, at any point, your dogs behavior becomes unmanageable, out of control or concerning, call a professional dog trainer, dog behaviorist, vet behaviorist or your veterinarian immediately.
Toddlers & Dogs
- age 1-4 years -
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The transition from sweet little cuddly baby to impulsive, wild toddler is a big one for all of us! You'll soon realize toddlers get in to EVERYTHING. They recklessly climb, jump, push, pull, throw and open everything that come across and that doesn't stop when they come across your sweet doggie. You must not get complacent and continue to include your dog in the toddler proofing plan every day, every hour.
Even if once relaxed around a young infant, many dogs will have a hard time with a toddler that is now on the move. Especially senior dogs, dogs with chronic medical issues or behavioral issues. Dogs view children under the age of 7 different than how they view adults. Remember, dogs learn through their experiences. If they're experiences with the toddler stack up in the negative, it can become a serious and dangerous situation. |
Check out Trust Point System and How Dogs Learn to learn
more about how dogs brains work.
more about how dogs brains work.
Interaction Rules - Toddler & Dog
Management
- Never leave toddler and dog unattended together or when you are not 100% present.
- You are not mean for separating your child and dog. We all need personal space and breaks from overstimulating things and situations. Baby gates are your best friend!
- Have baby gates or a play pen in main living areas where your baby is often on the floor and/or playing to separate when need be.
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Personal Space
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Some nice examples of child and dog sharing space that shows respect to the dogs space and harbors a trusting relationship. |
Boundaries
Click here for Toddler Bonding
- No rough handling at anytime! Your child should NEVER hit, body slam, push, pinch, squeeze or throw things at your dog. If your child cannot control themselves or you cannot control your child, for whatever reason, separate your dog and child as needed. Baby gates!
- Your dog should not "get used to" inappropriate, invasive handling from your baby or toddler in an effort to child proof them. This, in fact, will lead to the opposite.
Click here for Toddler Bonding
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Teach all members of the house to respect each others space. The dog is not allowed to jump on, over lick, knock over, lay on or steal things from the child. The child is not allowed do to any of that to the dog. Continuity across the board will help teach your children dogs are beings with feelings and not live stuffed animals to be messed with.
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Easy for your Child to Learn and Follow
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The Box Method
The Box Method shows that a dog has four sides. When more than two sides are covered from any angle, it prevents the dog from having an escape route. This can cause a dog to feel trapped and potentially cause defensive, bitey behavior. We like to make sure dogs understand when they are uncomfortable, they can walk away.
If you, someone else or your child wants to interact with your dog: 1. Do not approach if more than two sides are blocked. 2. If they have more than two sides blocked, call the dog out of their spot to create a neutral, inviting space. 3. If there are multiple people or children trying to pet your dog and are surrounding all four sides, ask them to take turns. |
1, 2, 3 second Pets to Build Trust!
Use the 3 Second Pet Rule and take little breaks when petting to ensure you are not mindlessly petting a dog when they may actually be feeling overwhelmed. When you cease petting, it will allow the dog an opportunity to choose to move away or to stay close. Giving them a choice in the matter will surely gain trust points between you both! 1. Only make contact with the dog in 3 second intervals. For more sensitive dogs, you can do one or two seconds! 2. Observe their body language and let the dog tell you what you should do next. Does the dog move away? Is the dog stiff or still while you’re petting them relax when you stop? This indications the dog isn’t fully comfy with your petting. Refer to SPEAK DOG! for more specifics on dog body language cues. Does the dog come closer or stay nearby when you stop petting? This may show the dog enjoyed being pet and is asking for more. |
Decrease Bites with Invites!
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"My child was reaching to pet the dog.", "My child was walking over to the dog to give them a hug on the couch." "My child was reaching for a toy the dog had; they were playing."
This is how most of the conversations start when I talk with parents who had a child bitten by their dog. A majority of reported bites towards children and children faces happen because the child has approached the dog when the dog didn't want to be approached. A breakdown of trust has happened along the way between dog and child/children when they repeatedly override the dogs boundaries. The dog has deemed it necessary to escalate in order to stay safe from the child when the child approaches. |
Keaton knows not to approach a dog when they are resting. He sets back and calls her over.
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Imagine we take the first part out of the equation. Your child learns not to approach the dog at certain times but to rather invite the dog into the childs space. I 100% guarantee we would see the number of bites towards children (or people in general) go way down.
Teach your child to invite your dog over to them for interaction, rather than child going over to the dog. If the dog doesn't respond, they do not want to be near the toddler in that moment.
Teach your child to invite your dog over to them for interaction, rather than child going over to the dog. If the dog doesn't respond, they do not want to be near the toddler in that moment.
Your child should get your attention to you if your dog is in your childs spot on the couch or similar, or if your dog is not responding to their invitation. If your dog doesn't respond to your child, your child should not then take it into they're own hands to move or reach for the dog. Instead of pets, hugs and kisses teach children to:
- "Blow a kiss!"
- "Wave"
- Invite the dog over with "Fido, Come!"
- Throw the dogs toy
- Ask the caregiver to move or remove the dog for them
Kids & Dogs
- age 5+ years -
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Once toddlers turn into little kids they generally follow direction much better and are learning impulse control themselves. All of the Interaction Rules above still need to apply to kids and dogs, of course. Moving into the little kid phase, your dog will have much more mutual activities to bond with your children by playing games, watching movies together and they can even get involved helping feeding, bathing and cleaning up after your dog.
With Kids, though, come kids friends. Playdates, walks to the bus station etc. This is where you have to massively advocate for your dog and never, ever allow any kids to mishandle or overwhelm your dog. If there are children visiting your home or out and about that cannot contain themselves, you must keep your dog away from them. Your dog will have a different level of trust built up with your children then they do others. Similarly, ensure your children understand the Dog Interaction Rules and respect dogs at other peoples houses. |
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